Are you familiar with the adage “Rome was not built in a day?” Recently I came across an article by James Clear1 in which he makes mention of this saying and adds, “but they were laying bricks every hour.” This grabbed my attention and made me think of everything we do to care for our families and in essence build our “Rome.” Sure it is not easy. It is hard work and requires consistency, but we can be sure that everything we do is helping to shape our home, our families, and ourselves.
This being my first post, I thought it would be right to start with what helps us build our home. We will call these the building blocks for our home:
- Love
- Security
- Structure
Love
Growing up my family moved often. Just when we would be settling into a place it was time to move again and this happened over and over. I think 2 years was the most time we lived in the same house. To be honest, I was not a big fan of moving. My mom knowing this always reassured me that “it wasn’t the place that made the home, it was us being together.” She even had a small frame she would hang up that said “No matter what, no matter where, it’s always home when love is there.” Years later I still remember this and it motivates me to make sure that everything I do for my family and my home is with love.
Security
A home is safe place. One you and your family know they can come back to over and over again knowing they will be received with love and respect. Criticism, constant nagging, or lack of affection in a home only creates a tense environment in which it is difficult for a family to thrive. I know for me at times it is hard to remember this and it is easy to constantly be telling my kids what to do or what they are not doing right, or even continuously choose to nag my husband when he does something that bothers me. So much so that I begin to realize how my family starts to walk on egg shells and tries so hard to not do something that upsets me and then I think, ” Is this how I want them to feel in their own home?” The answer is no. I want them to feel respected, and to feel they belong and have freedom in this place. Security also refers to stability. This does not mean having everything we want but rather ensuring what we need is available. I mentioned the constant moving when I was a kid, this also resulted in financial troubles but despite of this my mom always made sure we had our basic needs covered without getting into more debt. Although necessary, money is not everything. One of the things that helps my family be successful is spending time together and I’ve come to realize how important it is to balance this with work. More work would give us more money to in essence give more to our family but let’s be honest working more would cost the time that we spend together. Taking this into consideration, my husband and I have decided to not work more than we need to and make sure we also take care of the emotional well being of our family. I realize this might not work for everyone, but maybe finding a different way to balance work with life and family will.
Structure
Wether we like it or not, a strong building block for our homes is having a structure. Not that I’ve found exactly what to do to maintain this, but I have been without one and it almost drove me crazy. Our families need to know what needs to be done clearly, they need guidelines, values, accountability and yes, ROUTINE. As homemakers we are responsible for setting all this in place, and teaching it. A home while it is filled with love and is safe, it is not a rough house where everyone just runs loose and does whatever they want. Sounds like fun, but in reality unless you’re willing to just roll with it, this won’t help much. Not every family runs the same, but it is important to find how your family functions and structure based on that.
For me, these building blocks have been my focus. The past three years my family has been growing with the addition of our daughter and baby boy and this has led to changes in our home. A little more chaos compared to what we were used to, but a lot more fun and beautiful memories. This is what motivates me to ensure I not only provide a place to live but a home where we all are together and thrive.
Whether you already have all this in place or just realized you could benefit from setting these blocks up for your family, I hope you find the motivation every day to keep going and brick by brick continue to build your home.
Resources
https://jamesclear.com/lay-a-brick
#affiliatedlinktoamazon
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